Book Fortysix: Dead in the Family

Dead in the Family, Charlaine Harris



I think I may have finally cracked the Charlaine Harris code. And here's how it goes:

Charlaine Harris gets a Word of the Day calendar. "Hey, let's put that in the Sookie books!" she thinks, "That way I can use all these neat words I'm learning!" Charlaine Harris has a fetish for Fabio, so suddenly all her "sexy" male characters are described as having long flowing locks. Charlaine Harris then sees Fabio wearing a brown silk t-shirt, so all the aforementioned sexy guys go around wearing silky tees. (Wait, am I obsessing over these silk t-shirts too much?! But honestly, does anyone out there actually wear silk t-shirts or find men who wear them to be sexy at all? Gah!) Charlaine Harris suddenly discovers computers and the interweb, so her characters suddenly start creating computer "programs" (aka CD-ROMs) and communicating via email, among other interwebby things. Charlaine Harris eats a Little Debbie cinnamon roll just because she thinks she deserves one and then thinks, "Hey, I think Sookie deserves a Little Debbie cinnamon roll, too!" and clickclackclickityclack, that goes in the book, too! Charlaine Harris lives at the end of a long gravel driveway and is constantly worried about its condition, and--bing, bang, bongo--Sookie is always talking about that gosh darned driveway! Charlaine Harris decides to stay in one night to work on the book, and heats up a Marie Calender's pot pie for dinner, and then... well, you don't need me to tell you that that goes in the book, too.

It's not that I don't think a writer shouldn't take details from their own life and use them in their novels, it's just that Charlaine Harris's details are SO FREAKING TEDIOUS. And also weird. Just plain weird.

But, I've said it before and I'll say it again now (and I'll probably keep on saying it until the end of time): that doesn't seem to be stopping me from reading these stupid books.

(Really, I do love you Charlaine. I'd eat a Little Debbie cinnamon roll with you anytime.)

3 Comments:

Blogger raych said...

I know, right? And then I washed my face, slapped on some moisturizer, pulled my scrunchie out of my hair so I wouldn't wake-up with pony-tail-bump, tugged on my favorite old t-shirt and boxers and went to bed. All that, when all I needed to know was, And then I went to bed.

October 6, 2010 at 5:58 PM  
Blogger jewelknits said...

Hey! I love me some Marie Callendar's chicken pot pie! LOL! Seriously, I have stayed away from these books, as one of my close friends described them as "literary crack", and I can't afford yet another addiction. Thanks for the review!

Julie @ Knitting and Sundries

October 8, 2010 at 3:50 PM  
OpenID fredaherrera said...

I'm usually not critical of writing (even though I'm an English teacher) but her writing is awful. I love true blood. I just can't read her writing.

October 8, 2010 at 10:55 PM  

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